How a Novel Helped One Mother Reclaim Herself

Samantha Mann didn’t expect a novel about a mother turning into a dog to reflect her own life so deeply, but Rachel Yoder’s Nightbitch did just that. In an essay about her experience, Mann opens up about the struggles of early motherhood and how the book gave her the courage to confront the tension between who she was before children and who she became after.

Finding Her Story in Fiction

Like many new moms, Mann found herself overwhelmed by the relentless demands of parenting. She felt the pressure to be the “perfect mom” while quietly mourning the loss of her pre-motherhood identity. When she read Nightbitch, the story hit home. The book’s surreal narrative — about a mother who believes she’s turning into a dog — served as a powerful metaphor for the primal instincts and raw emotions she herself had felt but hadn’t been able to articulate.

“The protagonist’s journey to reclaim herself amidst the chaos of motherhood felt like my own,” Mann wrote. For her, the novel validated the complex emotions of loving your child fiercely while still yearning for the parts of yourself that feel lost in the process.

The Messy Truth of Motherhood

Inspired by Nightbitch, Mann began to let go of the perfectionism that had been weighing her down. She realized it was okay to acknowledge that motherhood is messy, both physically and emotionally. Yoder’s novel gave her permission to embrace all parts of her identity — both as a mother and as the individual she had been before having children. “The book taught me that my worth isn’t tied to how flawlessly I parent,” she explained. “It’s tied to how I show up as my authentic self.”

This realization led Mann to take practical steps toward reclaiming her identity. She prioritized self-care, reached out to other moms for support, and allowed herself to feel joy in moments that weren’t directly tied to parenting.

Creating Space for Honest Conversations

Mann’s essay emphasizes the importance of fostering community among mothers. Reading Nightbitch inspired her to have honest conversations with other moms about the struggles they often keep hidden. She found comfort in hearing their stories and sharing her own, realizing that vulnerability can be a source of strength.

“Motherhood doesn’t have to erase who we are,” Mann writes. “It can amplify it — if we’re willing to be honest about the hard parts.” Through her reflections, Samantha Mann shows how literature can be a lifeline, offering a mirror for our struggles and a pathway to self-discovery. For her, Nightbitch was more than a story; it was a reminder that it’s okay to be a mother and still be herself.